Greyhound (2020)

I never thought I'd see Tom Hanks starring in a feature film with the same production values as a SyFy Channel original movie, but here's Greyhound — an otherwise tight, lean, straightforward picture. Hanks plays a commanding officer leading a convoy of ships through dangerous waters, facing off against German U-boats during World War II....

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (hereinafter TMoUW) claims to be “based on a true story.” If by “true story” they meant “Inglorious Basterds by way of Kingsman,” then I agree 100%. TMoUW isn’t as egregious as Basterds, but it does operate under a Tarantino-esque kind of manipulative, historically negationist wishful thinking approach (and even has its...

12 Strong (2018)

It’s a bitter irony that 12 Strong was released only three years before Kabul crumbled faster than Kevin Spacey’s career. Then again, this movie has as much to do with the war in Afghanistan as the Arab uprising had to do with Lawrence of Arabia — which is exactly where director Nicolai Fuglsig and screenwriters...

Sisu (2022)

I’m always wary of movies that, before anything else, feel obligated to give us the dictionnary definition of their title. Have these filmmakers never heard of synonyms? If they’re so worried about what they perceive to be an obscure term, why didn’t they choose a more accessible word, one they feel is ‘popular’ enough to be...

Assault on Hill 400 (2023)

The Battle of Hürtgen Forest, which included the titular Assault on Hill 400, was the longest battle on German ground during World War II, and the longest single battle the U.S. Army has ever fought. Surely it deserves better than a loafer budget (because it can’t even afford to be shoestring) Asylum clunker. Here's a...

Midway (2019)

The key difference between this Midway and 1976’s Midway is that the latter was released in the days when movies were made more carefully and were reluctant to insult the intelligence of their viewers. Whether or not it was historically accurate (and I wouldn’t go out on a limb that it was), Midway ‘76 looked like...

Ambush (2023)

George Santayana said, “Only the dead have seen the end of war” — or, I might add, the end of retarded Vietnam war movies like Ambush (or last year’s The Greatest Beer Run Ever). This film is so clueless that it has a character called “Mora” and another one called “Mera;” then again, even the...

Condor’s Nest (2023)

Condor's Nest stars Michael Ironside, Arnold Vosloo, Bruce Davison, and the fat fuck from Lost. Once upon a time I would have said ‘one of these things is not like the others;’ nowadays, though, I have to clarify that I use the word ‘stars’ only because these people are the closest to movie stars we’ll...

Resistance

Resistance makes the same mistake as Life is Beautiful; i.e., believing that laughter is the best medicine against fascism. This is the story of an aspiring mime who joins La Résistance to save the lives of thousands of children orphaned by the Nazis.  When we first meet young Marcel (Jesse Eisenberg) he is described by...