The Clan of the Cave Bear (1986)

Who could blame me for thinking that The Clan of the Cave Bear (hereinafter TCotCB) was full of shit? Here's a movie wherein Neanderthals look like James Remar with a sloping forehead and a terminal case of bad hair day, while Cro-Magnons look like 1980s Daryl Hannah.  I understand that Cro-Magnons were similar to modern humans,...

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

The original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre predated the original Halloween by four years, but now it’s the former’s turn to follow in the latter's footsteps, resulting in a case of the blind leading the blind.   This new Texas Chainsaw Massacre (hereinafter TCM) takes its cues from the recent Halloween and Halloween Kills, even bringing...

Ruthless (2023)

Ruthless stars the unlikeliest avenging badass. I don’t think a lot of people were clamoring to see Dermot Mulroney of all people kicking ass and taking names, nor do I think that this movie will make many converts to that particular cause. That said, this little Death Wish wannabe is nothing to be ashamed of...

Stillwater (2021)

If The Pledge and Prisoners had a child and that child moved to France, it would be Stillwater. While it may not reach the same level of intense pacing and gripping tension as those two films, it still delivers a compelling, albeit unfocused, story with strong performances.   The plot may leave some viewers wanting a little coherence....

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Ghostbusters: Afterlife had no idea what makes the Ghostbusters tick, and co-writers Gil Kenan and Jason Reitman still don’t have a clue (the latter gave up the director’s chair to the former for this outing, but the difference is negligible). Like Paul Rudd quoting Ray Parker Jr.’s hit song, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire knows the words but...

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

The biggest problem with Ghostbusters: Afterlife is its disregard for what makes the Ghostbusters tick. It’s like co-writer/director Jason Reitman racked his brain to find the most uncharacteristic thing the original characters could have done and just went from there. At the same time, that very thing was the only new or original thought that went...

Three Day Millionaire (2022)

Three Day Millionaire is, for want of a better term, clickbait filmmaking. The opening scenes are dominated by an aesthetic that goes out of its way to misrepresent the movie as a Guy Ritchie work. And the title sounds suspiciously like Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire. Thus, director Jack Spring appoints himself a member of an exclusive club...

Miranda Veil (2020)

Miranda Veil is a wonderfully schizophrenic film — a morbidly twisted love story, a peyotized road movie, and a deranged black comedy that defies traditional storytelling conventions and offers an original, surprising cinematic experience. There is madness here, but it has a method.    Writer/director Levin Garbisch questions political correctness without resorting to gratuitous shock value. That...

The Idea of You (2024)

The Idea of You is a bait-and-switch. Solene (Ann Hathaway) wonders, “What if I could just be the sort of person that goes camping by herself? What if all I need is [her daughter] Izz[y], and my artists, and my gallery, and my friends?” I wish the movie had been about this self-sufficient woman.  ...