What kind of a fucking idiot hires a blind bitch to housesit a huge, isolated mansion (and inside that mansion a safe with millions of dollars in it)? (I’m reminded of George Carlin’s “people in Kilauea, Hawaii who build their houses right next to an active volcano and then wonder why they have lava in the living room”). This is the retarded elephant in the room that we’d have to be as blind as heroine of See for Me to not see.
Screenwriters Adam Yorke and Tommy Gushue try to cover this gaping plothole by having homeowner Debra (Laura Vandervoort), declare that blind former skier Sophie (Skyler Davenport) was “the only one who responded on time on the website,” and also “everything was so last minute” that apparently there was no choice but to leave this luxurious residence located in the middle of bumfuck nowhere in charge of a person who literally cannot see her fucking hand in front of her face. Fuck no, this dog will not hunt, Monsignor.
The stupidity doesn’t end there, though. When the house is inevitably invaded by a gang of thieves looking for the millions in the safe and Sophie catches them in flagrante delicto, the crooks decide she’s not worth killing because she’s “not a witness.”
Perhaps Sophie is not, for obvious reasons, an eyewitness, but many trials would end very quickly if only witnesses who ‘saw’ something were called to the stand, and those who only ‘heard’ something were ruled out.
Additionally, Sophie may not have seen their faces, but she did hear their voices, and considering that all blind people in the movies have bionic ears, it’s not impossible that she could identify them anyway.
Director Randall Okita even fucks up the one aspect that could marginally distinguish his dumbass movie from the myriad other, similar thrillers. “Sophie must trust Kelly (Jessica Parker Kennedy) … to thwart the intruders’ plans and get out of the heist alive” (All Movie); Kelly is an operator for an app called See for Me, and her job is to guide Sophie using the latter’s cell phone camera.
Whatever potential that premise might have had is wasted because the filmmakers’ limited imaginations fail to see in it anything other than an excuse to turn the film into a cooperative first-person shooter, with Kelly giving Sophie remote instructions (“Adjust left, up, up”, “Sophie, he has a knife. Sophie, he’s coming at you. Shoot now!”). Give me a fucking break.
This material could perhaps work in an action comedy (e.g., Blind Fury), but in a thriller all it does is create a limbo wherein we can’t take what we see seriously, and we don’t find it funny either.
90% of Everything is Crap 